the day before yesterday, yesterday & today.

the day before yesterday was really great!
learnt dance steps from Sarah Lee.
discussed script with Vivienne & Hui min.
was kinda HIGH when discussing.
well, overall. it TOTALLY rock.

yesterday so totally screwed up.
for HI musical,
I'm so nervous.
for the Dance,
i was slower than Sarah for the last step which made me so nervous that i forgot.
for the Acting,
i screwed up that sort of 'test,
the judges asked us to recite the Singapore Pledge,
INDIVIDUALLY!
i can't manage to stay calm & recite the Pledge to them.
for those 2 auditions,
i participated it in groups.
i find that i let them down.
especially Sarah,
she isn't happy at all.
i don't know what to do,
I'm already overloaded with pressure.
coming out of NOWHERE.

met someone after the auditions when finishing chatting with Vivienne & Lynette.
someone, actually planned to have lunch with him,
but i don't have the appetite to eat.
SORRY!
been feeling so down.
it just so sudden,
so many things happened this year.
it just changes me?
in some way or another.
it's pushing me down.
i feel weaker than before.

i wonder if God's testing me?
the only thing i know is that,
NERVOUS-ness causes me to regret a lot of things.
things like 'i could have do better' and so on.
i trust that I'm able to do things well,
if not for me being nervous.
it DOES include exams, auditions & in fact...
EVERYTHING.

what the heck.
why i can't i just calm myself down.
i feel seriously DUMB.
this is MYSELF.
why can't i?
oh. oh.
why can't i?
it ruins my Life.

today.
Mass Choir practise for Thanksgiving Mass tomorrow.
hope things turn outs fine.
i'm kinda looking forward,
as it is the first time,
that i can wholeheartedly sing for God!
:)

i know why i dont feel that u taken away my burdens,
it's because i didn't let it go.