This morning was so fcuk up because of some Cheers' Auntie, what the heck. Alright, shall not continue with it, don't wanna ruin my mood because of such a person.

I don't know what's been into me, i can't face reality. I've been posted into D&T class. I don't wanna be in that class. I'm not cut out for it. I'm always bad at it, Design Journal & Work - practical. I don't know if i'm feeling like this is because it's one of the lousy class to what many people think, e.g my father. He looks down on my results, thinks that studies are easy! So what if his maths scored 100 marks during his years & even if the paper's difficult, everyone fails it, he still could score 60+? Our syllabus are different, can't he just get it? He thinks that Maths' easy, EASY. He finds that i can score full marks for it! Alright, i'm the one who let him down. I didn't even score an A for maths. Yea, it's easy. I admit that i didn't do very well or even well this time. My standard drop like *****. I've disappointed him again & again. Broken promise: I promised my parents that i'll study ( either last part of last year or MYE this year ) & score well. I didn't make it! I DIDN'T. It's a no wonder that i shouldn't expect that they will trust me. I shouldn't blame them, the one i should blame is me, MYSELF. I feel so fake, hiding feelings when i actually feel so down. I don't wanna make my friends' mood bad / worse because of me. Nothing makes me feel right. The only thing's that i wanna enter Pure Geography. Could you just give me a chance?

Hide, hide & hide. Bottle, bottle & bottled feelings. Whatever happens to me, i only have myself to blame. It sucks. I'm feeling the loss of one's self. I don't seem myself. I faces reality, i'm strong, i should be calm, i'm the one who falls & pick myself up & nothing should distract me. That should be me.

I don't wanna be the eldest sister in the family! There's this Kelvin Ng, always saying that i don't even look like a elder sister BUT what about him? Always laughing at George doing stupid things when some things ain't a laughing matter! He's already 13+, Secondary 1, why doesn't he have a mature mind? He, as a elder brother to George, should also know about his role & shouldn't say i ain't fit to be a eldest sister.

AHH! Anyone, help me. );

Why am i such a changed person? Why should surroundings change me? Why did i let it change me?